#2. The Phonies

If the theory went thus: "Going to get an office job and make a lot of money like the rest of the phonies," then I made a bit of a miscalculation on the old renumeration forecast. Heh heh. No, I'm not talking about those phonies... The phonies I'm talking about are probably very similar to the phonies Holden Caulfield was railing against - only they didn't have mobile phones in those days and use them on the bus. Got that?

I've been trying to get inside the mind of the person who thrives on talking loudly on their mobile on the bus. They tend to be people who like to talk loudly anywhere. On the bus, however, fellow passengers are a captive audience who can't really walk away yawning and tutting. I think I can break them down into two main categories: Smug-conscious-phoney and dumb-ignorant-phoney. The former are a fascinating group. They're successful, well-dressed and educated and they can't wait to let everybody know about it. They are happiest when stood centrally in the bus gangway with an audience all around them. They are not shrinking violets.